Anxiety amongst adults reached record-breaking statistics during the past year. With uncertainty comes anxiety, and we have all had a fair dose of that. With the health and wellness of our families under attack, the uncertainty of job security, home-schooling children and then debating whether to send those kids back to school we have all encountered stressors we never thought we would have to face.
It is then not surprising that anxiety amongst our children also reached all-time highs. Little ones pick up on the anxiety of their caregivers even if the adults are trying to shelter them from those emotions.
It is normal for kids to worry; about homework, tests and making mistakes. If a child starts worrying about things that we wouldn’t expect to cause worry, there might be reasons for concern. Worrying about break time, attending birthday parties, play dates with friends, being picked up from school, or about war, weather or the future is also not normal We would be concerned if the child worries constantly about these things and starts avoiding pleasurable daily life activities because of these worries.Anxiety in children can manifest in different ways. Having general anxiety might make it hard for a child to focus and pay attention to the class. Because they almost always worry about something, they find it hard to play, eat, relax and have fun. They can suddenly become defiant, irritable and angry. It often presents with physical symptoms like lead aches and tummy aches, which can make it hard to diagnose. These little “worry worms” may also find it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep throughout the night.
Some kids internalize all these anxieties and others want to talk about these worries with a parent or teacher, asking over and over if something might happen. Even though they are constantly reassured that all is ok, they never quite feel ok about it, and continue to worry.
Separation anxiety needs a special mention. Almost all kids between the ages of 18 months and three years old have separation anxiety and are clingy in certain situations. Should an older child refuse to go to school cries hysterically or is to upset or sick to go to school because they don’t want to be away from their parent or caregiver, a professional opinion should be sought.
What causes anxiety? Usually, it’s not just one cause but a combination of genetics and chemical imbalances. Children can inherit genes that make the likelihood of anxiety more likely. Genes also direct the way chemicals help the brain function. If those chemicals malfunction or is in short supply, this may lead to anxiety. Reactive anxiety to certain life situation like loss, death of a loved one, abuse or learned behaviours where one or more family members are fearful or anxious may also contribute to anxiety.
How can I help my anxious child? If you suspect that your young child is suffering from anxiety and that it is impacting behaviour or leading to avoidance, it is advisable to seek help from your Paediatrician or a Child Psychologist. Encourage your child to talk about feelings; positive and negative ones. Listen attentively when they do talk. Assure them that you understand them and that you love and accept them. For parents, it is instinctive to protect and soothe our children. Children in turn rely on their parents for help. That said, resist the urge to fix the problems and accommodate the anxiety. Try not to speak for the child, and do not always help and rescue out of uncomfortable situations. The gain is short-lived, but in the long run, the child doesn’t learn any coping mechanismsGive age-appropriate information without overwhelming them. Children will fill in gaps with their own beliefs which may not be accurate or right. Don’t forget to breathe. Teaching children deep breathing is a useful tool and can at times alleviate anxiety and lessen fear. For anxious children, the smallest thing can become the biggest obstacle and seem insurmountable. Teach them to break it down into little steps and then tackling it one at a time.All children feed on their parents’ emotions; even more so with the anxious child. Try to remain calm, even when you feel angry or anxious about the situation.Practice positive parenting and celebrate their victories even if it is small. Try not to highlight mistakes or failures.Remember that there is help for these conditions and that you are not alone. We can help!
Xoxo, Dr Christa